How We Lost Hollywood, Academia, the Justice System, and the Language — But Hey, at Least We Still Have the Saturday Barbecue

At the Headquarters of Logic, Facing the Army of Sensitive Carbs

Once upon a time, politics was about borders, budgets, and academic requirements.
Today? The battle is over whether you can say, “Man and woman were created for each other,” without summoning an online mob wielding digital torches and hashtags.

The Western world is in the midst of a progressive epidemic — a chronic illness caused by boredom, excess free time, and a master’s degree in Gender Studies.
But we, the sane conservatives — armed with tear gas of reason and a pair of tefillin in the bag — aren’t giving up that easily.

So here it is: your practical, unapologetic, and slightly amused guide to surviving the progressive takeover.

Know Thy Enemy — What Is a Progressive, Anyway?

In right-wing dialect, a progressive is someone who believes in fixing the world — as long as it doesn’t involve doing the dishes or military service.
They support justice — but only for the “approved” sides.
They champion free speech — except yours.
And they love inclusion — unless you wear a kippah, live in Judea and Samaria, or think men and women differ in more than tone of voice and snack preferences.

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In their world, your six-year-old should “explore their gender identity,” and a barbecue on Independence Day is an “act of carnivorous exclusion toward traumatized vegetarians.”
They’re not evil — just overeducated in the field of “I feel, therefore I’m right.”

Where Do They Rule? (Spoiler: Everywhere)

In the Media
Every morning begins with:
“Good evening, I’m Yonit Levy — and here’s why you, as a traditional person who didn’t apologize today for existing, are morally wrong.”

In Academia
That’s where students learn that the Book of Genesis was a colonialist project, and that Shai Agnon really should’ve used gender-neutral Hebrew.

In the Justice System
Where your right to protest depends entirely on whether you’re for or against the latest judicial reform.
“Reasonableness”? A very flexible concept — depending on who’s asking.

In the Language
You’re no longer a “married man.”
You’re an “individual possessing a marital identity with heteronormative romantic orientation.”
Good luck filling out your tax form.

How to Cope: The Conservative Survival Kit

1. Develop a Sense of Humor
You’ll need it. When a student explains to you that Bar Refaeli is a product of capitalist oppression — you either laugh, or explode. Choose wisely.

2. Don’t Get Dragged into Semantic Swamps
If someone asks, “What’s the difference between gender and biological sex?”
Just answer: “The same as between tofu and shawarma. One of them actually exists.”

3. Never Apologize
If you said something rational, grounded in three thousand years of civilization — don’t backtrack.
Not even with, “If I offended anyone…”
You didn’t offend them — they went looking to be offended.

4. Humor, Round Two
When someone tells you that saying “Mom and Dad” is micro-aggression, ask if anyone wants micro-shawarma.

The Lovable Progressive – A Rare but Real Species

Yes, they exist — progressives who genuinely believe in equality, dialogue, and freedom.
They just haven’t yet received their “Cancel Order” from HQ.

Don’t hate them. Invite them for Shabbat dinner.
Seat them near the kids. Show them that Zionism isn’t colonialism, and that the Israeli flag isn’t an act of violence — it’s a symbol of a country that celebrates Independence Day with flags, not with a potted plant named “Camel the Nonbinary.”

Warning Signs: Common Right-Wing Mistakes

1. Screaming “Leftists!!!” at Everything
Not everyone with a ponytail is a progressive. Some just turned 40 and never married.

2. Playing the Victim
Not every argument against you is an attack on your human rights.
There’s a difference between fighting censorship — and whining on Facebook to your nine followers.

3. Believing Everyone’s Against You
Not everyone.
Just about 94% of mainstream media, publishing houses, ethics committees, education boards, anthropology professors, and children’s TV content creators.
The rest are totally on your side.

The Battle for Reality – With a Smile, Without Fear

The fight against progressivism isn’t just ideological — it’s existential.
It’s about being able to watch the news with your kids without having to explain every five minutes why Uncle Yoav is now Aunt Shira, and why the kindergarten canceled “Mommy of the Week.”

But don’t lose hope.
Reality always wins in the end.
You can’t replace biology with tweets, tradition with activism, or values with “emotional sensitivity.”

So smile. Respond with humor. Vote (twice if you can).
And remember:
You don’t need to shout sanity — just live it.

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