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Son in the Paratroopers ๐Ÿช– my Heart in my Underwear: A Father’s Confession in a War That Lasts Too Long

When Everyone Talks About Heroes, Some Stay Behind – In Silence

When everyone talks about the heroes on the frontlines,
I think about the ones who stay behind.
Not in Gaza. Not near the tunnels.
Here. At home.
Between a cold cup of coffee and another Telegram update.

This isnโ€™t a story about heroism.
Itโ€™s a story about a father.

A father who doesnโ€™t sleep at night โ€” not because heโ€™s on a mission,
but because itโ€™s been 24 hours since he last got a message.

My son is a paratrooper.
A combat medic.
A hero.

But heโ€™s also my boy โ€”
the same one who used to lose a sock five times a week,
and now carries human lives in one hand and over 90 pounds of gear on his back.

-- ืคืจืกื•ืžืช --

And me?
Iโ€™m holding myself together.
Holding my phone close.
And holding on to the silence โ€”
a silence thatโ€™s been unbearably loud lately.

Every Call Is an Exercise in Suppression

โ€œIโ€™m heading out now, itโ€™ll be fine,โ€ he says.
As if heโ€™s going to the grocery store โ€” not into Gaza again.

And my heart doesnโ€™t buy it.
It reads between the lines.
Because thereโ€™s a language parents of soldiers learn over time โ€”
and itโ€™s not taught on the radio.

The Secret Dictionary of a Soldierโ€™s Father

You learn fast to translate:

โ€œCanโ€™t give details but Iโ€™m fineโ€ = Iโ€™m in Gaza.
โ€œHearing a few noises aroundโ€ = Tanks and anti-tank fire.
โ€œEverythingโ€™s under controlโ€ = We just ate tuna after leveling half a street.
โ€œEverythingโ€™s okayโ€ = Please, pray hard.

And in between, you develop strange new hobbies:
– Refreshing security analystsโ€™ tweets.
– Trying to identify faces under helmets in blurry news photos.
– Reading every line of commentary as if the writer actually knows what heโ€™s talking about.

The Heart, the Nerves, and Everything in Between

Thereโ€™s no way to fully describe it โ€” that cocktail of anxiety, pride, frustration, and endless wondering:
โ€œWhat on earth is my kid doing right now?โ€

The truth is, it never ends.
When the phone rings โ€” you tense up.
When it doesnโ€™t โ€” you tense up even more.

And when an unknown number calls, or thereโ€™s an unexpected knock at the door โ€”
itโ€™s like living inside a slow-motion horror movie that never ends.

You simmer in fear. On low heat. For months.

Life Between Telegram and WhatsApp

When your sonโ€™s a soldier, you suddenly gain new โ€œskillsโ€:
Analyzing combat reports.
Studying maps of Khan Younis like youโ€™re planning a route yourself.
Zooming in on helmets and boots in every press photo.

Your son faces tunnels, terrorists, heat, exhaustion, and canned tuna for dinner.
You face guilt.
Longing.
And the ache of not being there for him โ€” exactly when you wish you could.

Risk Management from the Living Room

Heโ€™s inside. Youโ€™re outside.
Heโ€™s on the ground. Youโ€™re on Telegram.
Tracking updates, reading briefings, whispering prayers that โ€œminor skirmish, no injuriesโ€ doesnโ€™t include your kid โ€” the one with the medic bag and 90 pounds on his back.

You imagine him kneeling beside a wounded soldier, hearing screams, tightening a tourniquet, signaling for evacuation.
And you โ€” youโ€™re just staring at โ€œDeliveredโ€ on WhatsApp.
No blue checkmarks.
No โ€œDad, Iโ€™m fine.โ€
Just silence.
A silence that feels like an alarm.

What Do You Say When He Calls?

The phone rings โ€” you jump.
You answer calmly, pretending to be in the middle of doing the dishes:
โ€œOh hey, howโ€™s it going, son?โ€

And he says, in that dry soldierโ€™s tone:
โ€œIโ€™m fine, routine stuff. We just blew up a few buildings, nothing major.โ€

But you hear the fatigue in his voice.
You catch the avoidance.
And you donโ€™t ask.
Because you respect the boundary.

When he hangs up, you sigh โ€”
not from relief,
but from knowing: thatโ€™s it.
Until the next call.

Not in Uniform, Not in the Field โ€” But Still in the Battle

Fathers donโ€™t get much attention in this story.
But theyโ€™re there โ€”
in quiet conversations with themselves,
in the endless news cycles,
in holding the family steady,
and in recognizing that their child has turned from boy to man.

They donโ€™t wave flags or post updates.
Because a father doesnโ€™t need to prove his patriotism โ€”
he lives it, through his son.

And finally, a sentence never sent, but always whispered in the heart:
โ€œCome back safe, my son.
Iโ€™m here. Always have been.
Even when youโ€™re there.โ€

๐Ÿ‘€ ืœื’ืœื•ืช ืขื•ื“ ืžื”ืืชืจ ืื™ื ื˜ืœื™ื’ื ื˜ื™ is ืกืงืกื™
ื”ื™ืจืฉืžื• ื›ื“ื™ ืœืงื‘ืœ ืืช ื”ืคื•ืกื˜ื™ื ื”ืื—ืจื•ื ื™ื ืืœ ื”ืžื™ื™ืœ ืฉืœื›ื
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-- ืคืจืกื•ืžืช --

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